Moms Who Can't Say Fart

My mother is a nurse. She's been open and honest with me my entire life about sex and my body, and I've been extremely grateful about that, but . . . my mother can't say fart. She can tell me what sexual position is best for x, y, and z, but if you say fart in front of her, her face turns a lovely shade of red like Bella's. And heaven forbid she say it herself. She just can't. We were a toot family.

My mother, like me, is perpetually a fifteen year old girl and squeals when a new teen movie comes out with a hot guy in it. She always says, "I'm not dead; I can see," and then shrugs her shoulders. I adore her. Anyhoo, she found out a while ago about fanfiction. I was afraid to give her recs because frankly I didn't want my mother to know what I was reading. Besides, if the woman can't say fart, then how's she going to feel when she reads about Beautiful Bastard slamming Bella up against a stairwell and doing her, then stealing her La Perlas? Yeah, see my point?

So, I avoided her requests. She read on her own and on occasion would tell me about the cutesy story she read that was like la dee da and I'd smile and nod and go home and read about Fifty Shades. Long story short, too late, she read one of my stories and gushed to me about it. It was a really embarrassing moment as I was putting my children into the car and she was telling all about how this story was good but a bit steamy. OMG! I was mortified but also a bit confused because the story she had read, and loved, and dubbed steamy was Just a Kiss  where Bella and Jake literally have just a kiss. Huh? It was all very strange and confusing. How could a kiss bother her?

I finally admitted to my mother who I was online and told her she couldn't read all of my stories. It would just be too weird. Then I checked her profile/favorite stories out and realized that she was reading some of the stories that I actually loved that had some sex in them. After that, I eased up and stopped being so tight lipped about stories that I loved. I started reading stories with an eye for my mom who can't say fart. I would think to myself "Would I be ashamed if my mother read this and she knew that I read it?" And that's how I started choosing fics to tell her about (All of them have a good plot, are well written, have very little cursing, and little to no sex in them.).

And, so, a new category has been created. Eventually I hope to have a sidebar full of categorical reading preferences like this one. Until then, you get, uh, this one. So without further ado, I give you a list of multi-chaptered fics (my reviews) for Moms Who Can't Say Fart. And, please, if you have any other recs for this catergory please let me know. I'm always looking for more.

Team Edward
Controlled Burn
A Quiet Fire
Dear Mr. Masen
My Perfect Mr. Imperfect
Four Summers
Green
The Best Man
The Best I Ever Had

Team Jacob
A Week in the Life of Jacob Black
What Music They Make
The Golden Phase of Dying Leaves
207 Days After
The Last Sleep
The Movement of the Earth
Spindle Tree
Then Direct You into My Arms
Fall for You