Never Said I Didn't Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Later, in my bed with Bella draped over me, she whispers quietly, her voice shaky, “What are we going to do?”

“What do you want to do?” I ask, stroking her arm.

“Well, you missed tryouts. You won’t be eligible for ball until next year. I don’t want you to miss out on anything. But . . .” She gnaws on her lip and catches my eyes. “I want you to come with me.”

I want to say ‘yes, dear’ but can’t because I don’t know if I can go with her. So instead, I say, “I’ll call Northern and see when that mail should be coming. And, I don’t care if I don’t get to play ball. I never wanted it for a career. It’s fun, but it’s not everything. Besides, you’re the better player. You should be the one playing, and it’ll get you hookups for your future career.”

“You’re amazing.”

I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I say, “We’ll figure it out, Bella.”

“I hope so,” she says and snuggles closer, her face hiding against my shoulder. “How did you know about the scholarship?”

“Renee.”

“I wanted to tell you; I just couldn’t.”

I rub her arm and have a hard time coming up with the right words. I’m sad she didn’t think she could tell me. We should be able to tell each other anything, right? I think so. All I come up with to say is, “Why not?”

“Well, I was worried you’d ask me to stay at the U, and I’d say yes.”

“And regret it your whole life?”

“I don’t think I’d regret being with you, but I would wonder what I missed with Carmen. I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“What else have you thought about?” I prop myself up on my elbow beside her and stroke her stomach while she speaks. She shivers at my touch and throws her arms above her head, arching her back. She’s so hot.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes, of course. I know you, and I can usually predict what you’d do in a situation, but I can’t predict what you’d think. Not . . . always . . . and definitely not recently. This, us, has changed you. I think.”

“In a bad way?” She closes her eyes, lets out a shallow breath.

“No, not bad. Just different. Sometimes different is good,” I say, jumping my hand from her stomach to her thigh, and she smiles, keeping her eyes closed. “But sometimes, different means the girl you’ve known your whole life is keeping secrets from you.”