Some Like it Rough

I'm in love with AltheaJams. We got acquainted since she was running the Fanfic My Fanfic contest. I had lots of questions and bothered her incessantly. Then I was directed to her blog and I fell even more in love with her! Anyone who doesn't know about it you can find it here. She recs great fics and so far everything that I've read that she's suggested has been fabulous. I'm picky, remember? So it's a big deal for me to read something someone rec'd and like it. Anyway we've been having a twitter love life as she recs to me and I rec to her. And even though she's not Switzerland like me, she's still okay in my book.

She wrote a post that I found intriguing called I Shouldn't Find This So Hot. We started chatting about why that is - why sometimes we find something rough and raw to be hot. We got to discussing a scene that I wrote that was quite controversial (well one of them anyway, I wrote several). I got accused of near rape, abuse, etc. On the other hand, I also got reviews telling me how hot it was. I tend to agree with the latter. In this particular scene nothing actually happens. Jake is rough with Bella but doesn't force her to do anything and - she loves it. (They have a rather large discussion about it later because Jake was thoroughly upset by his behavior.)

But that line there, 'She loves it' tends to mean the most to me. If an author explains that Bella is enjoying herself then it is my job to agree with Bella. Not in the 'I want that to happen to me' way, but in the 'if Bella's okay with it then it's okay for her' way. Make sense?

There's a fic right now that I'm reading, Fold Your Wings by JadaPattinson, that is very controversial. Women are going crazy over it. They either love it or hate it. I'm still undecided. It all depends on the big 'this why Edward's an ass' reveal. Edward has paid Bella for sex. She's agreed to it. He's not physically abusive to her, he doesn't force her to do anything, but his words are disgusting (in my opinion). Now, while I would never put up with this in my own life, the fact that Bella is enjoying the rough sex and is not irritated enough with his cruel words to do something about it (like kick him in the balls), then as a reader I agree with her. She makes the rules in the story, not me.

Just my two cents on the matter. Basically my point is this, if Bella finds it hot, then it's hot. Period, regardless of whether or not you would like those things to happen to you.

And for AltheaJams who likes it rough . . . here's an excerpt from Nothing Sort Of (Chapter 25: More than Anyone) wherein Bella likes it rough too.

Some background: Bella and Jacob are engaged. Rosalie stole a kiss from Edward. He is now hinting that he wants one last kiss with Bella. After a very uncomfortable evening with Edward, Bella and Jacob discuss the issue and things get heated.

“Maybe . . . maybe you should just kiss him, then he could let go and leave us alone”

“Jacob.” said Bella, shocked at his easy decision. “I don’t . . . I couldn’t . . . I don’t know if . . . if I allowed that, it’s as good as . . .”

“Don’t you think that would give him closure?”

“I think that would give him hope,” said Bella, honestly.

“What if you told him . . . made an agreement? One last kiss for a lifetime without him.”

“I can’t. I can’t kiss him again. If I did . . . I - I don’t know what . . .”

“I’m not saying it wouldn’t be scary. It scares the shit out of me, but so does a lifetime of having him be your friend and constantly hassling you for a kiss. Would you consider it? For me? For us? Our future?”

“Jake?” Bella’s breath hitched in her throat, and she began to cry.

“Honey, I know you still love him, but you can do this. I know you can.”

“I can’t. I don’t. I don’t love him.”

“You don’t?”

“I’m in love with Edward. I’m still in love with him. I couldn’t kiss him . . . I . . .”

Jacob stood and towered over her his eyes reeling in fear, sadness, hurt, fire and jealousy.

“Bella,” said Jacob, closing his eyes as though he just couldn’t look at her anymore. “How, how long have . . . did you know, did you . . . have you been thinking . . . we’re getting married.”

“I know.” She reached toward his hand, and he pulled it away, taking a step back. “I didn’t know. I thought I was getting over him. I thought . . . I just want you, only you and you alone,” she cried.

“If you want me then how can you deny me what I need?”

“What do you need? Anything. I’ll do anything to prove to you . . . I left tonight. He was so convincing. He wanted me to . . . I wanted to and then I – I . . . he walked away and then I was alone. I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I wanted you.”

“You wanted to kiss him? Not because it would give him closure and help him leave us alone, but because you wanted him? You wanted him.”

“Yes. I think so. I was feeling . . . I was confused. I can’t . . . I don’t think -”

“I don’t want you to be around him anymore. It messes with your head.”

“I know, but he needs -”

“Fuck. His. Needs. Feed my needs, mine.”

Bella stood up too to be equal to him as best as she could, to prove that she could stand by his side no mater how hard that would be.

Jacob continued. “I’m going to be your husband and you are thinking about Edward’s feelings. What about me? All this time I’ve been eating out of the palm of your hand, and you’re just dangling a carrot out in front of me never giving me a full taste. Never satisfying me.”

“I have tried. I want to be with you. I was the one begging you for sex and you said you wanted to wait.”

“I’m not talking about sex! Shit, Bella!” Jacob shouted, becoming enraged, his hands flying about in wide gestures, his eyes becoming narrow and dark. “Fuck sex! This isn’t about sex. This is about you being mine wholly, emotionally, and not worrying about fucking Edward and his needs. What is it with you and sex anyway? You’re always trying to calm every shitty situation with sex. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t cover up your problems with sexual acts.”

“But if we could just be together then maybe I’d stop thinking . . . maybe it would change me. Maybe that would deepen our connection, and I could forget about him.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked, stalking towards her. She backed away. “You want me to take you? To make you mine? To give myself to you so that you’ll not think about him? Is that what you need? Say it, Bella. Is that what you need?” He stepped closer still, and she was pinned against a tiny wall in the one-roomed cabin.

“I . . .” Bella swallowed loudly.

Jacob’s eyes were black and shifted a bit. A tremble ran visibly through his chest. He pushed himself onto her petite form and crushed her to the wall. There was no escaping. Bella heard a rumble in his throat when he spoke. “Will that help? If I make you mine? If I fuck you . . .” He ripped her panties off of her and crushed his lips to hers using his teeth, maiming her lips. He grasped her breast in his hand roughly squeezing it and pinching her nipple hard. She whimpered at the pain and pushed her head sideways, tears falling from her eyes. “If I fuck you, will you forget him?” He kissed her neck, sucking her skin into his mouth, pulling the blood to the surface and marking her. He bit her neck hard, grabbed her hips, pushing his hands into her skin, and shoved his erection against her center. He licked her neck up to her ear, biting her lobe, and spoke in a gravely voice while his body trembled in anger, near the verge of phasing. “Maybe I’ll just fuck him out of you.” He wrapped all of her hair around his forearm and gripped it tightly in his hand, pulling her head violently to his. He slammed his mouth to hers, shoving his tongue inside her and pushing his erection between her thighs, harder still. She was wet with arousal, fearful, and devastated by what she was causing Jacob to do. She was completely out of control.