Musicianward - My Own Take

It's official. I'm writing Edward. Musicianward to be exact. It's quite scary because I've only written for Team Jacob before. I already have my audience there and am a known author there too. With Edward -  I've got nothin'. Bupkiss. Sure, I wrote the one shots for Fanfic My Fanfic but they were not my creations of Edward. I was simply copying someone else's style right down to catch phrases, gimmicks and a whole lot of the use of the 'f' word. It was fun to do, and I enjoyed Edward, but not enough to write him.

I've had a plot bunny for an all Human Edward/Bella fic for a while now. It's been stewing, and I wrote a few notes for it, but not much else. I was searching for a good Musicianward story the other day. I loved Edward from Tropic of Virgo and decided I wanted to read something similar. The story I chose to read just wasn't doing much for me, so I decided it was time to write my own. And while I would not even begin to hope to write something as good as Tropic of Virgo, I could certainly give writing Edward to begin with a try.

I'm trying to think of this as an experiment of sorts, but I suppose that what writing is, period. Regardless, it makes me feel slightly less freaked out if I take the project lightly.

The main reason I feel as though I can write Musicianward is because I've already done it. He's in my To Choose a Star series. Edward uses music to cope with the loss of Bella (She's broken off the wedding and is engaged with Jacob). He starts playing open mic nights and is sexy as hell in doing so and tempts Bella here and there with said music. I loved it. Even though my Bella had made her choice I couldn't resist continuing to make Edward delicious in every way. Even my Team Jacob readers (which are the majority of my readers) came around a bit to Edward. So, I will use my own depiction of Musicianward as my muse. It will help me to feel confident in my attempt to write Edward, period.

So, until I get the story completed, betad and pretty enough to publish, here's an excerpt of my version of Musicianward from Nothing Sort Of  Chapter 24 Why Can't I Get.

Some Background: Alice has taken Bella out to a club where Edward will be playing. Alice is tricking them both. Neither of them realize that the other will be there. Alice is hoping to get them back together.

Bella and Alice sat at a small table with a third chair. Alice propped her feet up on it and looked relaxed. Bella watched the stage as a woman with long blond hair played “Monday Monday” by the Mamas and the Papas. She wore a gauzy white blouse and flared jeans with holes in the knees.

“Am I back in the seventies? Did you do some vampire time travel thing on me?”

“Just enjoy it. It’s open mic night. She’s not too bad. You should see some of the yahoos that come through here. They’re terrible.”

The song finished and Bella walked up to the bar to get a bottled water. While she was turned away from the stage a loud applause broke out over the club. It raged so loud Bella had to cover her ears from the deafening noise. Many women screamed and yelled all around Bella as she made her way back to her seat.

Bella sat down and opened her water bottle. The crowd hushed and she heard the beautiful sounds of the piano echoing from off the stage. A velvet voice poured through the sound system, dripping like honey as it sang…

“What did you think,

I would do at this moment,
When you're standing before me,
With tears in your eyes...
Tryin to tell me that you,
Found you another…
And you just don't love me, no more . . .”

Bella’s eyes shot up from her table and she peered up at the stage, finding Edward behind a piano, singing the haunting love song that covered their story.

“What did you think,
I would say at this moment,
When I'm faced with the knowledge,
That you just don't love me . . .
Did you think I would curse you,
Or say things to hurt you,
Cause you just don't love me no more . . .”

His fingers glided beautifully over the keys, and women surrounded the stage, sighing and looking otherwise enraptured by his mere presence.

The music swelled, and Edward pulled his hands away from the keys. He looked up then into Bella’s eyes and leaned into the microphone singing a ccapella.

“I'd fall down on my knees,Kiss the ground that you walk on baby,
If I could just hold you . . .
If I, could just, hold you . . .
If I . . . If I could just hold you . . .
Again.”

He finished the final few bars of the song on the piano, and women rushed the edge of the stage, screaming for Edward. He paid no attention to them as he pulled off his shirt, setting it on the ground. He wrapped his electric guitar over his tight, white tank top and placed himself in the center of the stage in front of the microphone. Two more musicians joined him, a man on drums with dreds and the same hippie woman, playing bass.

Edward’s eyes shot up, staring into Bella’s as he sang, again, in a ccapella.

“Day after day . . .”

Women screamed themselves hoarse as he continued his introduction.

“I will walk and I will play
But the day after today
I will stop
and I will start”
He started in on his guitar, his body moving to the music, his disheveled hair bouncing atop his head. The music blared as drums and bass kicked in, adding to the intensity of the moment. Bella looked at Alice for the first time since noticing Edward on stage. Alice’s eyes were glued to him as well. She didn’t dare look at Bella. Bella listened intently to the lyrics as Edward belted them out in the raspiest, hottest rocker voice she had ever heard.

“Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Believe me there's some things that I wouldn't miss
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss!

“Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me I know what to do!
But something won't let me make love to you.

“Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck!
But I waited my whole life for just one . . .”

Bella could not tear her eyes from the stage. Hearing Edward say the word ‘fuck’ was too much. Her traitor body reacted involuntarily, and she wanted nothing more than to drag Edward off the stage and screw him senseless in some dirty hallway of the club. Her fantasies ran wild and, before she knew it, the song was over. Women were screaming for Edward, chanting his name and reaching out to him.

Edward sat on a stool in the middle of the stage, acoustic guitar in hand. The melody was soft; it was beautiful and intricate. Several women wooed as he parted his lips and dragged his hand through his hair quickly before he began singing softly.

“So
If you ever want something
You call, you call
And I'll come running to fight
And I'll be at your door
And there's nothing worth running for.

“When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to stop it.”

Bella slumped in her chair, relaxing in the moment, taking in the sensations before her: Edward’s music filling her heart, crushing it with need, desire, longing, and sadness. She listened intently as he sang his heart out and ran his fingers adeptly over the strings, making the most beautiful music she’d ever heard. The adoring fans got quiet, and Edward scooted forward on his stool looking up at Bella for the first time during this song’s performance. It seemed as though he looked into her soul as he sang to her.

“So
If you ever want something
Then you call, call
Then I'll come running.”

Bella felt the tears falling from her eyes. She was completely overwhelmed and knew that she was indeed still in love with Edward. She knew it, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

She was brought back to a sense of reality as women cheered and applauded, chanting ‘encore, encore’.

Edward stood to exit the stage, but the manager pointed towards his stool, so he sat back down, strumming the guitar strings absentmindedly. He laughed nervously into the mic, then said, “I guess I’m doing one more, then. Any requests?”

He looked at Bella then who wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head ‘no’. He eyed the crowd. Women began shouting at him. The words were mumbled and shrill, but women screamed about kissing and getting close, and Bella couldn’t take it anymore. She needed a break. She found the ladies’ room and stood over the sink, patting her face with water. She could hear the muffled sound of Edward’s voice, and the music he played from his guitar so beautifully.

Two women entered the room, laughing. One had jet black hair, and the other had a head of shocking, bright red waves.

“Can you believe Swan tonight? Oh man, I’d do him in a heartbeat. I love when he sings “Add it Up”, but I prefer “What Would Happen if we Kissed”,” said the redhead. “I prefer Sensitive Swan to Sexy Swan. Don’t you?”

“No way. I’m all about Sexy Swan. When he sings “Closer” . . . hungh! I just love hearing him scream ‘fuck’ into the microphone. He’s so damn sexy,” said the black haired woman.

“What did you call him?” asked Bella to both women.

“Swan? Edward’s his first name. Are you new here? Hello. He’s the only reason this club is still open,” said the redhead.

“I’ve never been here before,” Bella admitted.

“Oh, honey,” said the redhead, “. . . you have to come back. Each time he mixes up the set, although, he didn’t give his dedication tonight. I wonder why?” she mused.

“Good,” piped in the black haired woman. “Maybe he’s finally over Bella and he’ll date me. What a stupid bitch giving him up. Please, I’ll give him one fuck. I’ll give him several,” she said, then applied her lipstick.

Bella couldn’t take it anymore and left the ladies’ room. In fact, she left the club.

XXX

Bella sat on the curb just outside the club. Her knees were bent, and she wrapped her arms around them, hugging herself. Bella didn’t hear a sound except for the big band music muffled behind the exit doors, but, before she knew it, Edward was sitting by her side, his button-up shirt clutched in his hand.

“Are you okay, Bella?” asked Edward quietly, maintaining his distance from her.

Bella didn’t speak.

“I’m sorry if . . . Alice didn’t tell me you were coming tonight. You have to know, I would’ve changed up my song list. I had already worked with the other musicians, and the manager has to approve your choices, so . . . I . . .”

Bella looked up into his eyes, searching them, pleading with him to help her - help her get through this night whole.

“You looked phenomenal up there. Performance suits you. You were brilliant.”

“Performance doesn’t suit me, expressing my feelings about you suits me.” They were both quiet for a moment until Edward spoke up. “You’re not upset?”

“I’m not upset. Not in the way that you think.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I do, but I shouldn’t. I don’t think it’s safe right now. Not with all of this sitting next to me.” She waved a hand over Edward. His tank top clung to his chiseled chest, and his low-waisted slacks and casual Converse made him look relaxed - relaxed and sexier than she’d ever seen him. His hair was a mess, and he had stubble. Bella had never seen him with stubble before. She had only ever heard Alice complain about it. It was very appealing. She wanted to rub her face in it and have it scratch her breasts as she rode him hard, and he clung to her, seeking his orgasm. Bella reached out tentatively and touched her hand to his cheek, feeling his stubble. He closed his eyes and whispered, “You’re so warm.” She withdrew her hand slowly.

“I like this,” she said softly. “It’s very I’m-a-hot-rocker-that-every-woman-wants-to-get-a-hold-of.”

“I would like to play humble here, but I have been in these ladies’ heads, and I’m fairly certain that what you’re saying is true. Except, I don’t know what effect it has on you.”

Bella opened her knees and dropped her head between them. “Oh, Edward. Why do you have to be like this?”

“Like what?” he asked innocently.

“You are so damn sexy,” she mumbled through her legs.

“I’m sorry?” he said it as a question. “Bella, come on, get out of there. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Edward pulled his shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned.

“There’s nothing to talk about. You are sexy, and I love your music, and now I’m tempted. Really tempted. And according to two girls who want to give you your one . . . you know . . . I’m a stupid bitch for giving you up. Happy? Enough of my thoughts?”

“Never. I’ll never get tired of hearing your thoughts. May I . . . no screw it.” Edward threw his arm around Bella brazenly and pulled her into his chest. She followed suit and wrapped her arms around his chest, pushing her hands under his open shirt over the flat, perfect planes of his tank top-clad stomach. She breathed him in as he breathed her in. They both hovered in a state of suspension not wanting to move, not wanting for time to continue. Everything in that moment was perfect because they were together.